At times it's difficult to be growing so slowly in so many ways... another semester passes by and I realize I don't have much to show for it, however, it was pretty dam good.
It sucks to get left behind. It sucks to start over only to realize you need to stop and start over again because you've been going about it all wrong. It sucks how repetative things can get in a life time. It sucks when lots of little stupid things build up and they try to get you down. It sucks that girls can't act human (including me). It sucks that boys are immature & yet really awesome so it's immpossible to not have them around. It sucks that at times I think life feels hard even though it's really a walk in the park ... it's hard these silly situations I get pulled into. ... and really none of it bothers me too much in the end. IT's important to remember to smile every day even if it's just at the squirrel frantically jumping from one tree to another... and it's great for me to remember
that being weird like me...
is alright...
and it's okay that I offend most people I know at some point.
Eventually I will understand why and stop it.. and well..
Every day is good.
Every day and every one has something good in them/ it.
Everything falls apart into a million pieces,
then flies through the trees,
only to hit the fan ( then you have a million pieces times a lot more),
which the winds picks up and scatteres ever where,
and in time it all blows back into sight,
and of course all right back into place.
Everything is confusing. Timing is amazingly off. Feelings kept inside are lame Shouting them out is the best... but at times it's just common sense to keep them in for a non-likely better time. Kiss some one if you want to .. worry about the other stuff later ... no matter what...life will possibly go on even if it doesn't feel like it , take time off from a friend if you need, don't bother with ur neighbors if they are weird and go into ur home when you aren't there. Pet the stray dogs and cats and don't worry that people will look at you like you're crazy.. i know i don't worry about it..It's not sensible to say that anything is certain because everything every where is constantly changing. It's silly to hold onto something you know is a lost cause and even more so to explain this to a dear friend.. and it's difficult to deside when you know there's something there.
It's cool to ignor life and to go for a bike ride to Salem or Sugar City.
It's funny when people think that every little thought and word is some how revolved around them.
annnd with everything above said I remember that my family rocks and. No matter the distance we don't just take a break...we still love each other, and no matter the little arguments we still come back to each other and drop the grudges.
and well ... yeah.
I can't wait for this summer.
Then for school to start and to become Extremely busy.
Which will make the stupid winter time feel like it's going by really fast...
which will make this great Spring & Summer-ish time come back that much more quickly.
Know what i mean?
- Rachel Rebecca Rudd
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